C. S. Lewis said, “No man knows how bad he is until he tries very hard to be good.” Lewis wasn’t referring to our outward behavior. He was referring to what goes on in our thoughts. And our thoughts come out of our hearts.

Well, now I’m busted.

My thoughts continually condemn me. I spend a good part of my day judging others, being critical, holding grudges, grumbling, and complaining, thinking of things that don’t honor God. 

Not out loud, of course. Out loud would expose my bad side.

Now, enter some really  discouraging news…..God is intimately aware of my bad side. I can’t hide it from Him. He is well aware of my sin nature.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Okay….got it. We think as our heart believes.

The problem is our heart deceives us.

If my heart believes that I’ve been cheated, I’m going to think things aren’t fair which manifests itself by grumbling and complaining. If my heart believes that I’m better than others, then I’m going to be critical. And so on.

The Lord wants us to be acutely aware of the presence and control of sin in our thinking. Our inner thoughts and true motives show us what we really believe at any moment, even if our actions look good.

When I’m in my private “thinking-judging mode” of someone, I’m believing at the time that I’m better or smarter or thinner, or something “more” than they are. My sinful heart is lying to me. And I’m buying it hook, line, and sinker for a moment, or for a lifetime in some cases.

No humility….just pride and arrogance. A lust for power to elevate myself over others in my own eyes.

We, as believers, usually recognize outward sin (especially in others). But do we spend much time asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to us how sin manifests itself in our own private thoughts and musings? As fallen humans, we’re usually oblivious to it until we’re already in the midst of our guilt.

So what are we to do?

Enter the good news. Christ died for all of it. He wants me and you to see our outward actions and inward motives so that we will repent and develop humility. True humility fosters an overwhelming attitude of gratefulness for God’s mercy to us through the grace of the Cross. We didn’t deserve to be reconciled back to Him.

On personal reflection, do you see your “Thanksgiving Meter” increasing? If not, you haven’t spent much time looking at your heart. Navel gazing has taken over…. only a few bodily inches from your heart, but miles away from Kingdom focus.

As an encouragement, the next time you assess how you think you’re doing spiritually, don’t forget to dig deep enough. Listen to your thoughts. Be aware. You’ll probably think this self-examination to be counter-intuitive.  Your human logic will kick in. You’ll fear that when you realize how bad you are, it will make you feel worse. That, my friend, is sin lying to you.

On the contrary, the Scriptures teach that when we look at the depth of our sin, it reveals to us our need. And we know our need has been satisfied by the sacrifice of Christ dying on the Cross. Oddly enough, this brings peace with our God and peace to our soul. Broken, but forgiven. “Love covers over a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8)

The Cross has magnified God’s love for us. God didn’t leave us without a solution for our rebellious hearts.  He provided a Savior. Consequently, as believers, we’re forever in relationship with a holy God, despite our badness, because of what Christ has done.

Weird, huh? But true. Don’t be fooled. As you’ve probably heard before, “You’re much worse than you think you are, but more loved than you ever imagined.”

By the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, Turn Around and see the badness of your thought-life. He will lovingly convict. But, at the same time, He will faithfully remind you that all is not lost. It’s the path to confession and repentance. It’s the road to a sweeter, more honest and dearer relationship with our Maker.